The doorbell rings and Jean is surprised to see John, from the charity shop, holding two mannequins. Her quizzical look causes John to remind her that she did say that she would look after them. She seems frozen until he indicates that he wants to bring them inside. They appear to be quite heavy and -- after all, he doesn't want them to catch cold.

John comes inside and asks where she would like them. She takes one from him and leads him into the living room. He wonders whether he should put the mannequin on the floor. She tells him no, he should have a little respect and put them on the sofa. Still puzzled, she asks if he is sure that she said she'd look after them.

That's what they said at the charity shop -- "good old Jean," he says.

Yes, she just bets that's what they said. She wonders how long it will be and he tells her it will only be until the refurbishing is finished. She asks if she had a glass of wine before making that promise.

"Three," he tells her.

She tells him that it serves her right, then.

He's an optimist and advises her to look at the bright side: they don't eat much.

She follows John out of the living room and turns back towards the mannequins saying "You can laugh...."

Meanwhile, Lionel and Alistair have just picked up the clothes for the wedding and they stop off at a pub to have a drink. Lionel says he really looks silly in a top hat and doesn't want to wear it. Alistair tells him that if he doesn't want to wear it, he could just carry it. Lionel wonders if the hat is collapsible -- he has a fear of squashing it flat and then not being able to get it back in shape. He really doesn't want to let Judy down.

Alistair reassures him: all you have to do is walk her up the aisle...

"Without tripping," Lionel adds.

Alistair continues. He explains that slow and calm is the key. The Vicar will ask who it is who is giving this woman away and as he is talking to Lionel he begins to talk more slowly, he starts to sweat, he takes out a handkerchief and mops his brow. He describes how he and Judy will turn to face one another and look into one another's eyes and all the while he begin to look dizzier and dizzier until his eyes roll back in his head and he faints -- falls right off the chair and flat on the floor.

A man from the next table takes charge immediately and tells everyone to stand back and give Alistair some air. The man looks at his watch and takes Alistair's pulse and pronounces him "alive." Alistair tries to get up and Lionel tries to tell him it is okay, but the man pushes Alistair back down to the floor and says not to move him. The man wants to call the paramedics, but Lionel insists that's not necessary. The man relents, telling him that it's on his head now and he'll look very silly if it turns out to be viral. Lionel realizes then, that he is not dealing with a doctor, which the man doesn't deny. He simply says "you like to do your bit, though, don't you?" Then he tells everyone to "cancel the paramedics."

The crowd disperses and Lionel asks if he's really feeling okay. Alistair assures him he's fine and they only last for a couple of seconds.

This takes Lionel by surprise. "You mean you've had them before?"

When Alistair confirms that this is not the first time, Lionel tells him that he should see someone.

Alistair says that he has seen the top man in the field -- 200 guineas just to say hello. It turns out he has been having panic attacks. He cautions Lionel not to say anything because he did not want Judith to think he was panicking about the wedding.

"What are you panicking about?" Lionel asks.

"The wedding....." Alistair admits.

Back at home Jean is working her way up from the floor, talking with the mannequins, positioning them, "now you'll just stand like that..." she can be heard saying as Lionel walks in with his bags. He grins and tells her he didn't realize that she had company. She informs him that she is just looking after them for the charity shop. He wonders if they are there so that she can chat with them. She's getting annoyed with his jokes and tells him that she is just trying to work out how many people can fit into the living room for the reception.

He recalls a time when she was trying to figure that same thing out for their own wedding and he helped with that, but she insists that not only didn't he help, but he and Judith and Sandy all messed up and so she got the wrong count. That won't happen this time, she assures him, because it has to be perfect for Judy and Alistair. He's sure she'll get it right this time -- if everyone is coming naked. She tells him that he is pretty silly for a grown man. He returns the compliment.

There is a large sheet of paper on which Jean and the mannequins are standing. She asks him to draw a circle around them. He takes the pen and starts to bend down, but pops back up and says "excuse me" to the mannequin. Jean is annoyed "You had to say that, didn't you?"

Lionel admits that he did. He wonders if he should ask what happens next.

She explains her logic: "I cut out the circle and I cut out a lot more circles the same size and I lay them out all over the floor and see how many guests we can fit in."

When he finishes drawing the circle Jean asks him to help her lift the mannequins and take them into the back of the living room she asks that he not say 'excuse me.'

Instead he asks the mannequin "How did you get here, car or train?" and then announces he'd like a custard tart and asks the "girls" if they want one.

Jean accuses him of gnawing on a joke "until there's no meat left on the bone."

He claims he rarely gets such an opportunity and turns to go after that custard tart, but Jean does not want him to leave until he shows her his suit. He opens the zipper on the suit bag and gives her a peek. She's busy cutting a circle out of the huge piece of paper that was on the floor, but she's intent on seeing Lionel's clothes and now she wants to see how his top hat looks on. He takes it from the bag and puts it on the mannequin's head.

At this moment Sandy walks in wondering whether or not this is something she should be privy to. Jean tells her that she's just getting help from Lionel and the mannequins and that Lionel was just about to show them his topper (his top hat), but Lionel insists that it is bad luck to put on the top hat before the wedding. Neither Sandy nor Jean had ever heard any such thing and Jean bet that Alistair tried his on. Lionel confirmed that not only did he try it on, but he looked rather jaunty.

Sandy asks Lionel how how Alistair is bearing up in light of "the big M" and Lionel lies and says he's very calm and rather than make mention of panic attacks he nervously makes his exit saying he was going to have his custard tart now.

As he walks out, Judith walks in and stares at the mannequins. Jean apparently doesn't think it is all that strange, saying "hasn't anybody seen one of these before?" Judy finds somehow that seeing them in her own living room is the strange part. Sandy says she didn't want to ask.

Jean explains to them that the charity shop is being decorated and there was no room to store them.

Jean insists they stop chatting because she has a million things to do and Judy tells her that before she does them, they need to talk. Sandy sees her cue and says she has to go. Judith scares Jean at first when she says that she needs to talk about the wedding, but she reassures her mother that everything is okay. She just wants to have the wedding at the country house, with Rocky's permission. This absolutely takes Jean by surprise and you can sense her disappointment, but she tries her best to keep Judith from seeing it. Judith asks if Jean minds.

"You hadn't actually started planning anything?"

"No, no, no, no," she lies.

Judith notices the paper with the circle cut out of it -- easy to spot because it's between them on the sofa. Jean leans over, trying to hide it and claims it's just "something Lionel's been doing."

Jean and Lionel are in the car on their way to the country house. Jean is complaining about the story that Lionel made up to explain the circles and the paper -- that they were dance steps. He said it was the best he could come up with on the spur of the moment. He reminds her that he wouldn't have had to come up with any story if she hadn't lied, but she says she didn't want to disappoint Judy. He points out that Jean is disappointed.

He tells her that he's sure everything will go well at Rocky's and when Jean says that depends on whether or not he will say yes, Lionel points out that it is hard to imagine the King of the Swingers turning down a bash. Then he tells her that she should look at the plus side -- she won't have to get involved. You can just see her heart sink. He tells her that all she'll really have to do is turn up in her new hat. She doesn't know what he's talking about and he tells her she's bound to want a new hat. This lifts her spirits considerably.

Rocky is at his country home meeting with Lionel, Jean, Alistair and Judy and he is thrilled at the idea of having the wedding there. He wants to make it the biggest rave up since Keith Moon was in his heyday. He is almost as excited as Alistair who is talking about having fireworks. He is gesturing and getting more and more worked up as he explains that he wants this wedding to be remembered. Lionel tells him to please sit down. Alistair immediately turns it down a notch and thanks Lionel as he sits on the arm of the chair in which Judith is sitting. Judith is puzzled about why Alistair would thank him for the suggestion. He tells her it is just good manners.

Nothing wrong with good manners, says Rocky as he shouts out for that "balmy old bat," Mrs. Bale.

Jean worries that they might not even be able to have the wedding in the country because neither of them lives in the area, but Alistair assures her he has squared everything with the Vicar. When Lionel asks how one does that, Alistair just puts his finger against his nose and says "hey hey."

Mrs. Bale comes in announcing that the Irish Channel is gusting to Force 5 and she resents being called a balmy old bat. Rocky accuses her of listening through the keyhole. He tells her that there will be five for lunch. She says she already knows that and that it will be ready in 6 1/2 minutes. Before leaving she says that Lol would like a word with them and then she turns to leave, but is interrupted by Judith.

"About the catering for the reception..." Judith begins.

Mrs. Bale stares at her and gives her a "yyyeeeeeeeeees?" that would stop anyone in mid-sentence.

Judy tells her that if she needs any professional help, but she is not allowed to continue because Mrs. Bale tells her that while she may need some help with the serving of the food, but the preparation of the food is "mine and mine alone." She adds, "with your permission," but Alistair and Judith look too frightened to mix in. Mrs. Bale walks out, saying she will send Lol into the living room.

Jean says "What I'd do ....." Lionel glares at her. ".... is probably nothing," she says.

Lol walks in and wishes everyone good morning. He doesn't want to stop and talk, but he just wanted to (he bows before Judith and Alistair) offer his condolences. He sees that both of them look surprised by his offering and then he realizes he said the wrong world. He meant to say (and he says it with quite a stutter) feli-feli-felicit-cit-it-ations. They smile.

He describes the excitement of the town -- everyone is all agog. He says it is the biggest thing since the coronation. Jean says she would not put it on a par with the coronation, but Lol tells her that the townspeople do. Alistair says they are right to think that way because this is going to be big -- with a capital huge.

He says they need music. Rocky suggests the Manic Street Preachers to which Lionel says "the who?" Rocky tells Lionel that the Who has disbanded. Lol says he was always partial to the Dagenham Girl Pipers -- strong brawnly girls. Judith gives Alistair a pleading look and weakly says "Alistair..."

Alistair tells her that he sees where she's coming from on that one and explains that they are more into mellow music. "What about the London Symphony Orchestra?" he suggests, but he's not sure they'll fit into the church. Lol wonders whether there are more than six of them.

Judith looks at wit's end.

Alistair gets more and more excited and begins to pace. Lionel sees what's happening and again tells him to sit down. Again, he tries to calm down.

Rocky suggests a planning meeting and a few bottles of something.

Mrs. Bale comes into the room and announces that lunch will be served in 3 minutes.

After lunch Jean has coffee in a room that overlooks the garden. She looks thoughfully out the window and says it's a shame that Madge won't be at the wedding. Lionel knows that she went on a dig, but didn't know where and Jean tells him that Madge went to Egypt. When Lionel asks why Rocky didn't go along with her, she says that he didn't see any point in old fossils digging up old fossils. She turns to Lionel and considers "maybe that's what we've become." "Nonsense!" is his answer.

She wonders if they should go for a "really long walk"?

"Or not," he answers.

Jean then asks him why he keeps telling Alistair to sit down and he tells her that Alistair makes him feel dizzy when he flits around the way he does.

They sit on the patio and are joined by Judith who asks if she can speak to them. She thinks that things are getting too out of hand and that Alistair is making the wedding into a three ring circus. Jean says that Lionel will have a word with him and Lionel says nothing, but you can tell he knows he is being roped into something he doesn't want to be involved in. Jean offers that Rocky is no help either and that together he and Alistair are a combustible mixture like salt and peter.

Lionel asks if this wouldn't really be better coming from Judith, but Judith has been working so hard to make Alistair act more grounded that she feels that she doesn't want to appear like a shrew. Jean says that Lionel has a natural authority and Judith thanks him and gives him a big hug. Lionel glares at Jean.

Alistair is still worked up. He's on the telephone talking to someone about the fact that they do not have a heliport at the country house. He tells whoever he is speaking to, that he'll run it through the old brain box and get back. Lionel walks into the room and Alistair asks him what he would say to a Marching Band.

Lionel would say "shut up and stop marching, probably." He sits down and tries to tell Alistair that he is going completely over the top with the plans for the wedding. He wonders whether Alistair ever stopped to think if this is what Judy really wants. Apparently Alistair hasn't stopped to think about this because it catches him by surprise. He says he was doing it all for Judith.

"A quiet, country wedding," that's what she wants.

"Not even the string section of the LSO?" NOTE: LSO is the abbreviation for the London Symphony Orchestra.

"Not even a triangle player," Lionel says and then he advises Alistair to look on the plus side -- his panic attacks....

Alistair tries to get him to lower his voice. He doesn't want anyone to hear. "What about them?" he asks.

Lionel leans over and whispers "you get them."

Lionel tells him that the more he thinks about the wedding the more excited he gets and the more excited he gets the more likely it is that he will have a panic attack.

This is making Alistair quite nervous and he keeps talking to himself -- disbelieving that something like this could happen to him -- until Lionel makes him stop. And then he recaps: "So, a little country church, local flowers, no LSO and a congregation of less than 5000. What could be less stressful than that?"

Alistair admits that Lionel is right. He says he now feels tranquil and goes through pretty much the routine he went through in the bar the other day. He describes how Lionel will walk Judy up the aisle and how she will be looking like a dream and how he will take her hand in his and then he keels over and faints on the couch. Lionel gets up and sighs, not believing it happened again. He slaps him in the face to try to revive him.

Meanwhile, back in London, Stephen and Penny have arrived unannounced at the Hardcastle home. Sandy is entertaining them and brings a pot of tea from the kitchen to the living room. Penny wonders when they will be back and Sandy, who doesn't know the answer, says that they should have phoned before coming. Penny enters the living room and sees Stephen sitting between the two mannequins.

"What are you doing?" she asks.

He tells her that he is just sitting. He has a smile on his face. "Reliving those halcyon days at the university...my arms around a couple of pretty girls."

Penny tells him she always knew there was a darker side to his nature.

Sandy wonders whether or not he knew many pretty girls back in his university days and he starts to tell her that he know tons of them, but none as pretty as Sandy, but Penny clears her throat and he stops. Sandy says he was probably a rascal back then and he admits he had his moments. But in those days if you "went as far as putting your hands on..."

Penny again makes him stop. She ask of "those things" have to be in the living room. Sandy tells her either there or in the kitchen. Stephen offers to carry them into the kitchen.

Penny orders him to "Just leave them alone."

She leans over towards Sandy with one of her secretive, gossipy looks and says "What about you?"

Sandy says she does not want to be carried in the kitchen and Stephen starts to say that if she ever did...but Penny interrupts him by saying that she mean marriage. She wonders if there's anything new with Sandy and asks about the traffic warden she was seeing....Larry.

Sandy corrects her and says that Harry is leaving for Canada on an attachment with the Mounties.

"And you're not going with him?"

Sandy says she isn't going with him.

Penny leans forward with her "Poor Sandy" face and says "Did he ask?"

Sandy admits that he did not ask and Stephen says "Nelson Eddy and Jeanette MacDonald!"

Penny asks what he means and he tells her they were in a film about the Mounties.

She asks if can manage to stick to the subject for more than ten seconds.

His answer is "Rose-Marie."

She asks if that is the name of one of the floozies from the university and he tells her no, that that is the name of the movie that starred Nelson Eddy and Jeanette MacDonald. He then turns to Sandy and says that if she wants his opinion, this Harry needs to have his brain tested.

Penny looks at Sandy and actually says "Poor Little Sandy" and Sandy is just about to say something rude when she hears the door open, sighs and is totally relieved that they are back.

Jean walks in first and says "Oh, what a lovely surprise!"

"Why, what's happened?" asks Stephen.

She tells him she was referring to the fact that he and Penny were there.

Penny only wishes they had happier tidings. She explains that she and Stephen may not be able to attend the wedding.

Jean says "Oh, that is sad. Somehow you don't believe her.

Penny explains that it is the fault of their social calendar, which has to remain very flexible at the moment because "one never knows, does one?" to which Jean replies "doesn't one?" and Lionel looking absolutely confused say "I certainly don't."

Stephen explains that he's been put up for an OBE and Penny interrupts him, calling him a fool because he should have kept it a secret. He points out that these people are family. Still, she says -- if this leaks out....

Jean sits on the edge of the couch near Stephen and tries to sort it out. She asks him if she heard right and that it was the OBE. He confirms this and she says "Why?"

He explains that it is because of "services to dentistry, apparently." "All those.......," he sits still for a long moment trying to think of the right word, "....teeth."

Everyone congratulates Stephen -- Sandy calls him a "clever old dentist" and wonders why all the secrecy.

"Because Downing Street -- Penny looks horrified at the fact that she actually says that and quickly says "Forget I said that" -- because certain sources insisted on secrecy. NOTE: 10 Downing Street is the Prime Minister's address and she is obviously referring to the powers that be at that address.

Each of them swears to keep silent -- Jean on Girl Guide's honor, Lionel on Scout's honor and Sandy on Brownie's honor.

Penny thinks that will have to do.

Stephen salutes and says he was in the Boy's Brigade.

Penny is frustrated with Stephen because he's done it again -- lost the thrust of the conversation, which is the reason why they won't be able to attending the wedding.

Lionel finally gets it -- "his prize-giving's the same day?"

She tells him that no, it is the week before, and now Jean is lost.

Penny thinks it is quite obvious -- following the "investiture" they cannot be sure that certain invitations for certain functions might not be forthcoming.

Stephen translates: Penny has it in her head now that the two of them will become regulars at "Buck house." NOTE: Buck House refers to Buckingham Palace.

Lionel points to his head and wonders if she will need a tiara, but Penny sees that remark as an example of typical male foolishness. She asks if they can possibly sit down to tea comfortably and get those "horrid things" (referring to the mannequins) out of the way.

Jean asks Lionel to move the mannequins and he lifts one and asks Stephen to help him with the other. Stephen enjoys the prospect and cradles one of the mannequins in his arms, saying "I haven't swept a girl off her feet in years." To which Penny rather unsurprisingly says -- "That's another thing about men. Is there one of them who isn't a latent pervert?"

Jean is in the kitchen making dinner and says to Lionel that it was a pity that Stephen and Penny could not stay for dinner. Lionel tells her that he was "very let down about that as well." Somehow we don't believe him.

She changes the subject and asks Lionel about Alistair's health. She noticed that when they were at Rocky's, Lionel seemed to be very solicitous about him. He explains that perhaps Alistair is experiencing just a touch of pre-wedding jitters. This puzzles Jean because, after all, Alistair is Alistair, but Lionel thinks that since it took him so long to finally make a commitment, it must have been awe-inspiring. She says that she supposes that's true, but they "don't want him passing out at the altar.

That remark hit quite close to home and Lionel appears to be panicked for the moment, and turns towards her and smiles strangely.

Judith walks in and asks Jean if she could talk with her for a moment. Lionel sees that it is probably something personal and leaves the room saying that he thinks he fancies a scotch.

Judy sits at the kitchen table and asks her mother, who was standing at the sink, to please sit down for a minute. Jean looks worried, particularly when Judy starts out by saying that it's about the wedding. She begins to panic, but Judith reassures her that everything is fine, except.... Jean knew there would be an "except." It is not as bad as she thought. Judy tells her that she still wants it to be in the country, but she would like Jean to help her arrange it. Jean, who couldn't be more thrilled, tries not to show how happy this makes her.

Judy explains that while Lionel might have talked Alistair out of his flights of fancy, there still is Rocky to consider and she does not want this wedding to turn into a jamboree.

Jean says that she will help and then lies and tells her daughter that she really hasn't thought that much about it. Judy reaches out across the table and squeezes Jean's hands and Jean just beams. At that point Lionel walks in and tells them that they look very gooey. Jean tells him that he had better get used to it.

Sandy walks in and says that she is ready and Jean asks why Alistair isn't going along. Judy explains that Alistair had an appointment with a consultant. Her mother starts to get excited and says that she knew it all along, but she's told that the problem is a small one -- with Alistair's toe. Lionel appears to be relieved.

Before they leave Jean asks if there were any phone calls and Sandy asks if she's talking about Harry.

Not specifically Harry, Jean tells her. And Sandy tells her that no, there were no phone calls. The girls leave and Lionel shakes his head at the notion of Jean's getting between Harry and Sandy.

Jean tells him that she wants everything to turn out fine for everyone and that if he is going to tell her to mind her own business he doesn't have to continue, because she will keep being involved and that she is being honest about that which is more than Lionel has been about Alistair -- she tells him that he knew all the time about Alistair's toe.

Alistair is walking down the street and passes a violin player who is playing for change from the passersby. He stops to listen and becomes thoughtful and gets a faraway look in his eyes. He reaches for some money and drops a bill into the man's open violin case which lies at his feet. It is the only bill in the case. Just in front of where the man is playing is his parked car. He gets inside, watches for a moment, his eyes well up and he takes out his handkerchief and starts to cry.

Jean and Lionel are eating dinner. Jean ignores Lionel and is writing things down on paper. Lionel tells her that it is very rude to write at the dinner table. Jean apologizes, but says she's just making a guest list for Judith's wedding. Lionel asks her if she intends consult with Judith and Allistair? It's only a provisional list, she says. She writes something and Lionel leans over to ask what name she's just written down. She covers the words with her hands so that Lionel can't see and then says if he must know, it's Harry. He pretends to be surprised and rather delighted at the coincidence -- Sandy will also be at the wedding. Jean doesn't appreciate his sarcasm -- it has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. The doorbell rings and Lionel grudgingly gets up to answer it, wondering why people assume that other people never sit down to have a meal.

It's Alistair who is at the door and he's apologizing for interrupting anything, like perhaps a meal. A still sarcastic, Lionel asks "who eats at this time anyway?" It seems that Alistair dropped by to "bring Lionel up to speed on things" because he's not just a pop-in-law to him, he's like a real pop. Lionel thanks Alistair, but it seems to be difficult for him to accept this compliment. He wonders what Alistair's man in Harley Street had to say. Alistair confirms that what he is suffering from are panic attacks, which Lionels says they already knew. The doctor gave Alistair a "jab" and some pills to calm him down. He adds that there might be some side-effects. Lionel tells him that they always say that in order to cover themselves. For example, he once had some seasickness pills which listed nausea as a side-effect.

Alistair tells him that he is getting side effects. Lionel hopes it isn't fainting, but Alistair assures him it is more of an emotional thing. He tells Lionel what happened earlier that day. He heard this busker guy (NOTE: A busker will play music or sing in a public place so that people who are there will give them money.) It's weird, he says -- Alistair never heard the tune the busker played, but it was very sad and before he knew where he was, he started blubbing. Lionel doesn't know, but thinks perhaps it was a tune that Alistair remembered from childhood -- something he subconsciously remembered. Alistair asks if he has ever considered counseling. "Only having it," is Lionel's answer.

At first Alistair thinks that is the answer, but then he changes his mind because he remembers that then he saw a puppy -- walking around on its little lead.... Lionel rolls his eyes. " ...but then it looked up at me," Alistair continues. He starts sniffling and takes his handkerchief out of his pocket. Lionel concludes that life is not always a straighforward thing. Alistair excitedly notes, as though all were not lost, that people usually cry at weddings. Yes, but Lionel reminds him that it is not usually the bridegroom doing the crying. Alistair thinks maybe he should stop taking his medicine and settle for the fainting. Lionel feels its a close call.

Jean walks into the living room to join them and says she just finished supper. Alistair realizes that Lionel lied to him earlier just to make him feel better. He is overcome with emotion. Lionel says he was nearly done anyway, but Alistair starts crying again. Jean asks if he's had bad news about his toe, which catches Alistair completely by surprise. Suddenly, after Jean informs him he went to see a doctor about his toe, Alistair realizes that it was just a story Lionel made up to cover for him. He tells her that his toe is just fine and she's quite relieved, but wants to know what was wrong. He tells her it was just a "toe thing" -- the sort of thing that can happen to a toe. Lionel tells her it was a common thing and both he and Alistair are going on about it enough to make Jean tell them that she didn't want to be blinded by science -- she only wanted to make sure he was okay.

Alistair begins crying again because "you people really care, don't you?" L:ionel shouts "no" to shut him up, and Jean hollers at him. Lionel retracts his "no" but explains that it is just a toe thing and doesn't rate highly on the caring side of things. Jean points to her guest list and tells Alistair she's making it for him. "For me?" he asks.....and starts crying again. She is his special lady. She explains that it is only a provisional one. He doesn't think he deserves to be so happy. And he collapses in Jean's arms. She pats him on the back and looks helplessly at Lionel, who rolls his eyes and waves her off indicating "don't ask."

Continue to Episode 3
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