Lionel, still in his robe, pads along the hallway towards the bathroom. He gets to the door, opens it and walks in. This is followed by a short startled scream and then a splash. Wide-eyed and considerably more awake than he was only moments before, he quickly walks back into the hallway closing the door behind him. He seems stunned and out of breath.
Jean is in the kitchen doing the dishes when Lionel walks in. She wishes him a good morning and asks if he had a nice lie-in. He says he thought everyone was awake. Well she's up and Judy's up, she tells him. "I thought everyone was up," he says. Jean asks if it matters. It matters to him. She asks if maybe she should go upstairs and blow a bugle in Sandy's ear. Lionel informs her that that isn't necessary. She's already up. Not properly up, though. He thought everyone was properly up. Jean doesn't know what's going on -- he sounds so obsessive. He tells her that Sandy is in the bath. This doesn't surprise her. Lionel tells her "I saw her in the bath." 
This is more of a surprise. She finds it funny. He says that she left the door open and he just walked in. "I hope you walked out again very quickly," Jean says, as she makes instant coffee. He tells her that, of course he walked out quickly, but that was not the point -- the point is she was in the bath and had no clothes on. Once again, we are back to not surprising Jean. That, she reminds him, is how most people take their baths. He seems surprised that she is taking all this very calmly. She wonders how else she could have taken it. "Now if I caught you peeping through the keyhole..." He asks what she means by caught. She studies him for a moment and says she never associated him with hysteria. He denies being hysterical. Then she tells him if not that, he is being plain silly. He obviously forgot to knock. He counters with the fact that Sandy didn't lock the door. Whatever -- It was just a silly accident and that's all, she tells him and when he asks "what's Sandy going to think?" she says that she doubts that Sandy will drag him through the coals. Just then she hears footsteps and tells Lionel that he can ask Sandy himself because she is coming downstairs. Lionel leaps to his feet and Jean mischievously reminds him that there is no use in hiding because he is too big to fit into the dishwasher.
Sandy walks in the kitchen and says good morning to Jean. Lionel can't look at her and sheepishly looks towards the floor. Sandy says "Good morning Lionel...........again." He looks directly at her and tells her he is very sorry. She stutters and says it was all her fault because she should have locked the door. He agrees and says that he has said that time and time again to everyone in the house, which elicits a weak defense when Sandy reminds him that he should have knocked. Jean adds that he's said that time and time again to everyone in the house as well. He simply forgot to knock. And she forgot to lock the door. "So we're both to blame," she says.
Jean offers Sandy a cup of coffee, which she accepts. She offers a cup to Lionel as well but he tells her he doesn't see how they can even think about coffee until they have thrashed this problem out. Jean tries to convince him that it is a silly, embarrassing incident which should be forgotten. Sandy wants to forget it ever happened. Not two seconds pass and Sandy grins up at Jean and whispers (loud enough so Lionel can hear) "you should have seen his face." They both giggle. Lionel is disbelieving. "You just said forget it ever happened!" Jean says he should just eat his breakfast, but he tells her he doesn't feel like breakfast and gets up and says he is going out. As he leaves the kitchen, Jean and Sandy start laughing. He comes back in and says "it's not funny."
Lionel gets dressed and walks downstairs as Judith comes in. As he gets his jacket on, Judith asks if he had a nice lie-in. When he says no, she asks him what is the matter. "Locks are for locking doors," he mutters. Judith joins Sandy and Jean in the kitchen. As Lionel opens the front door to leave he hears still more laughter coming from the back of the house.
Judy feels sorry for Lionel. Sandy says he hasn't looked her in the eye since. He didn't say anything -- only made a sort of a gurgling noise. Jean says that they should think of it from Lionel's point of view, but Judy says Sandy can't do that because she was his point of view. 
Jean is serious -- Lionel was very embarrassed. "So was I," Sandy tells her. Jean thinks she didn't act as though she were embarrassed. She asks what they expected her to do, go all coy? That, she feels would have made it even worse. "You were embarrassed, then?" Sandy again says that yes, she was embarrassed. Judy says "Mom!" as though she has insulted Sandy. Jean apologizes and Sandy tries to explain: it was all over in two seconds. She squealed, Lionel made his little gurgling sounds, she got down under the water and then he was gone. Jean says that the fact is that she didn't lock the door. Things begin to get uncomfortable. Once again Sandy says she forgot. Judy tells them Lionel should have knocked.
Judith is surprised that Jean is taking it so seriously, but Jean thinks it was a disaster waiting to happen. It was okay for the women because they could see the funny side, but not the same for Lionel because he is a man and can only see the embarrassing side of it .. or the other side. Judy asks her what other side. "I just said -- he's a man." Sandy says that if Jean means what she thinks she means then Lionel would not have bolted like a frightened rabbit. If it had been Alistair, Judy says, he would have said something like "hey hey" and then tried to fix the cistern. Jean is not worried about that because Lionel is not an Alistair, but this brings them back to Lionel's embarrassment. Sandy says that she is sorry, but she can't unembarrass him. 
Judith thinks this is not likely to be a permanent condition. Jean just doesn't want this to happen again. "Once!" sighs
Sandy. Jean tells the both of them that once is once too often and she walks out of the kitchen in a bad frame of mind, leaving Judy and Sandy alone. Sandy sighs and Judy makes a couple of suggestions -- first, that Sandy never take a bath again or second, that she get one of those Victorian bathing costumes. She says it is just a joke, but Sandy is not amused. Jean has made her feel very guilty about the incident.
Jean takes the telephone book and brings it over to the desk. She sits down and is thumbing through it when Judy walks in trying to make light of the situation. She says she has just finished suggesting to Sandy that she not take any baths any more. She supposes she should also stop taking baths. In fact, maybe everyone should stop bathing -- they would all get really dirty, but no-one would get embarrassed. Jean is distracted and has no interest in this conversation. 
She asks Judy how many times she has forgotten to lock the bathroom door. Judy doesn't know exactly, maybe a couple of times. She begins to feel that Jean is picking on her. She tells her mother that she is starting to make Sandy feel guilty. Jean says that Sandy is guilty. "What about Lionel?" Judy asks. Jean says he is guilty also. Judith thinks that maybe she is the only one who is innocent, but Jean sets her straight by saying she left the bathroom door unlocked on numerous occasions and that it could have been her that morning instead of Sandy. Judy asks what she is going to do -- send them all to prison? Jean says it is not funny, but Judy says that it seemed to be funny this morning because Jean and Sandy were laughing about it when she came into the room. Jean claims that was before she had time to think of it. Judith whines "oh, mom" and Jean tells her not to say mom like that. Judith says that if she keeps going on like this, she will call Jean "muh-mah."
Lionel goes to the door and opens it to reveal gentleman around Lionel's age who simply says: "Hardcastle" but says it in such a way that it really isn't a question, but a statement. Lionel acknowledges that he is indeed Hardcastle. The man says "Harris." This does not shed any light on the situation. Lionel says "How do you do?" The man says he does and once again says "Harris." Lionel is puzzled. To open up the conversation further the man adds "Builder." Nothing. Harris says that it was a woman's voice he spoke to. On the phone. Hardcastle. Finally Lionel realizes that it must have been Jean who sent for this rather odd person. He steps back into the hallway and calls for Jean, who says she is coming. When Lionel looks back he sees that the man is knocking on his door frame. Lionel asks what he's doing and he says it is just force of habit. when Lionel asks if it is alright, the man emits a very strange whiny, elongated and very annoying "uhmmmmmmmmmmnn." 
Jean walks down the stairs. The man looks at her and says "Harris." She thanks him for having come so quickly. She asks him to come upstairs with her and and they leave Lionel puzzled and knocking on the door frame. As he is staring at the frame and pondering what it means, Alistair appears at the doorway, says good morning and asks "d.i.y" [do it yourself]? Lionel knocks asks how the frame sounds to Alistair and Alistair replies by asking "How should it sound?" Lionel admits he doesn't know. Well then, Alistair doesn't want to put too fine a point on it -- but they do appear to be wasting their time.
Lionel starts to walk back into the house when Alistair very innocently asks if Lionel has seen Sandy. Lionel turns around, eyes wide, and says "what do you mean seen. "As in visual range," Alistair explains. Lionel thinks she is in the sitting room and leads Alistair towards that door. When he gets there, he knocks and hollers to Sandy to say that Alistair is there. Alistair is surprised and asks Lionel why he knocked. "Just to listen to the sound," is the answer he is given. "And?" Lionel says it sounds alright to him. Alistair asks Sandy if he's missed something and she tells him that she supposes he could say that.
Judith is in the kitchen, ironing, and Lionel joins her. She asks who was at the door and he answers that it was Alistair who came to see Sandy. "It still seems odd saying that," he tells her. She assures him that she doesn't mind Alistair's seeing Sandy and, in fact, she doesn't mind Alistair's seeing anyone as long as it is not her. She reports that Jean is in a foul mood. He knows -- he is beginning to feel like the dirty old man of the month. Not him, too, she says. He wonders who else would be in contention for that designation. Judy says that Jean is making Sandy feel guilty too. She asks where Jean is and he tells her that Jean is upstairs with Mr. Harris. She doesn't understand. He explains that Mr. Harris is a monosyllabic builder who arrived just before Alistair did. Judy wonders why she would want to talk with a builder just as Jean walks into the kitchen and asks someone to make Mr. Harris a cup of tea. As she turns to walk out, Lionel asks "he didn't come around just for a cup of tea, did he?" Jean tells them that he is there to talk about building a second bathroom. She leaves and Lionel says that some people might call that an overreaction.
Alistair and Sandy are in the sitting room. Alistair is making small talk about the publishing business. He suddenly wonders why he is talking about that when he bought her a present and would rather talk about that. He gives her a box to open. He says it is a little something to wear. She asks if that comes under the heading of when is he going to get to see her wearing it? At first he claims not to know what she means, but admits he would like to think he will eventually see it on her. He encourages her to open it and she tells him not to hold his breath about seeing her in it.
She is stunned and impressed by the label. It appears to be a sweater. Alistair tells her he never looks at labels and asks if she wants to go to lunch with him. She says she would like that and he hopes it is not because of the label. To tell the truth, she just really wants to get out of the house. He says he hates flattery. She smiles. Alistair observes that there are "lots of ripples on the tranquil waters of the Hardcastle pool." When she tells him that there was a bit of "a do" that morning she arouses his interest. "Really? Do tell..." he says, hoping she will explain. She doesn't -- she simply says she does not want to talk about it. Lionel walks in and asks if anyone else wants some tea. Alistair tells Lionel that he is taking "this delicious morsel" out for a delicious morsel. Sandy stands up and informs Alistair that every one of those loses him a point. Sandy gets gets up and says she'll be right back.
Lionel starts to leave, but Alistair stops him and says that he heard there was a bit of "a do" that morning. Lionel tells him he wouldn't like it to get spread around because it was so stupid.
Alistair wonders if it would help if he talked about it. Lionel starts to talk and then realizes Alistair is trying to put one over on him. "She didn't tell you what happened, did she?" he asks. He admits that she didn't tell him "in so many words."
Lionel certainly isn't going to tell him either. Jean walks in with her hand on her hip and says that Mr. Harris still hasn't had his tea. He sarcastically apologizes and speculates that he might like some biscuits as well. Or perhaps champagne and caviar. He walks out and leaves Jean alone with Alistair, who figures he will try one more time to find out what is going on. "Bad day, eh?" he says. Jean says "you heard about that?" He says Sandy told him. She asks if he thinks she is being silly or not? He says that that is hard to say.
She insists that he tell her because he must have formed some opinion. He doesn't want to take sides. Taking of sides is not necessary, she just wants to know who's right and who's wrong. He gets a sneaky little grin on his face and suggests that she just go over it with him. Suddenly the light dawns and Jean says "Sandy didn't tell you anything, did she?" She didn't go into many details. Jean asks exactly which details she did go into. Once again he is forced to admit that he knows nothing. He is disappointed, he says, because he thinks of Jean as family. She does not. Sandy comes in wearing the sweater and telling Alistair that she is ready. "Isn't she just a pleasure to look at?" Alistair asks. Jean says yes, but not very enthusiastically. As they leave, he comments that she really didn't go for that "delicious morsel" bit. She admits that that is, indeed, the truth. They leave Jean alone in the sitting room.
Lionel joins Jean in the sitting room and says that it turns out that Mr. Harris did want some biscuits. Jean starts to leave, but he assures her that it is taken care of -- Judy brought some up to him. Judith walks in wondering why it is that builders are always whistling and whether or not they have to go to school to learn how to do that. 
Jean wants to know what else he's doing and Judy says he is knocking on walls and waving a tape measure about. Lionel wants to know about this extra bathroom. He wonders if she knows that you can't just stick a first floor bathroom on the back of the house. She tells him that Mr. Harris knows that. He asks if she did. She says that of course she knew that. He wants to know what goes under it then. She says another room will go under it, obviously, but she and Mr. Harris have not yet decided what kind. Judy is surprised at the "Mr. Harris and I" part. Doesn't everyone else get a say since they all live there? Jean tells her that everyone will have a say. Mr. Harris walks into the sitting room and announces himself: "Harris." He looks at Jean and says "feasible." He needs to see out the back and Jean gets up says she'll show him, but he lags behind to knock on yet another wall. "Nothing wrong, is there?" asks Jean. He looks at her and says "uhmmmmmmmmmmnn." They leave and Lionel tells Judy that he wishes Mr. Harris would not keep making that noise. Judy thinks it is better than the whistling. He sits down and Judy asks him if he is alright. He tells her that he was just thinking about the Sod's Law kind of sequences -- wash the car and it rains, put on a new shirt and spill gravy all over the front of it and now this: he gets a glimpse of Sandy in the bath and they end up talking about an extension.
Jean and Lionel are in the car and she is telling him for the "umpteenth time" that it is NOT an extension -- just a little extra bit built on he back of the house. Lionel parks in front of the charity shop and takes a box of painting supplies over to the front door. Jean wants him to paint a changing cubicle and says, when he tells her that he doesn't remember volunteering, that she asked him a few days before and he said alright. That, she claims, is the equivalent of volunteering. She opens the door and sets off an alarm, which startles Lionel. "Oh, wonderful!" he says, probably imagining what else could go wrong.
Jean tells him to stop moaning and walks into the corner of the dark shop to turn off the alarm. He says he will never be able to paint the whole thing in an afternoon, but she points to a cubicle and tells him she is just talking about that. He thinks it looks alright the way it is, but she says they wanted it in a prettier color. Lionel feels that no-one even notices the color of a changing room. She senses that Lionel is resistent to this project and asks if he wants to just go home and pick her up later. He probably wants just that, but is there right then and will stay.
The curtain rail has to come down and Jean needs a screwdriver. She asks Lionel if he has one and he tells her that he did not bring one because he does not associate screwdrivers with painting. She informs him that most people do. He questions how she could possibly know this. She searches for one as Lionel looks around the changing room. He asks why she didn't get her Mr. Harris.... She interrupts him and says that is not her Mr. Harris and he charges. Lionel sarcastically says "I bet he does." Lionel wonders what this extension will cost, but Jean doesn't know. She says that he will give an estimate. He cannot give a quote until they can get an architect can draw up the plans. Suddenly Jean squeals with delight. She's found a screw driver and holds it up for Lionel to see. It is the tiny variety -- the one which is used to repair eyeglass frames. He just makes fun of her discovery -- "What's that for? Meccano?" he asks. She tells him not to just stand there but to at least get the lid off the paint. He tells her he can't do that and when she asks why he sheepishly says that it is because he needs a screwdriver.
Sandy, Judy and Alistair are in the sitting room. This is apparently the first time Sandy's heard of the extension. She finds it hard to believe. Judy thinks Lionel was right on target when he said "talk about overreaction." Alistair still has no idea what is going on. "Overreaction to what?" he nearly pleads. Judy ignores him. She is busy calculating: "if you consider how many thousands of pounds per inch of bare flesh...." Alistair's eyes light up at the phrase "bare flesh" and he wants to know whose bare flesh they are talking about. Judy tells him that it is a builder's expression, but he knows better. Sandy finally caves and said it is hers. She admits that Lionel saw her in the bath. "Did he?" he grins lecherously. She forgot to lock the door and he walked in. "Did he?" he says again with a gleam in his eyes. She tells him that Lionel walked straight out and it was over in a second. 
"He didn't find some excuse to hang around then?" Judy tells him that they are talking about Lionel, not Alistair. Sandy says she feels worse about this all the time. Judy tries to tell her that it is not Sandy's fault -- it is Jean's fault for getting all up in the air about it. A noise is heard in the other room and Judy says it must be Jean and Lionel and she goes out to meet them. Alistair seems to want to know more about the incident and asks Sandy whether she was above the water or below the water.
Judy meets Lionel and Jean in the hallway and asks how things went. They didn't, Jean tells her. Judy wonders why since the cubicle was so small and they had plenty of time, but Jean explains that it took somebody two hours to get the lid off the paint tin. 
They go into the kitchen. Judy asks why it took so long to open the paint tin and Lionel explains that he was working with a screw driver that looked as though it had come out of a Christmas Cracker. Jean observes that it is always the bad workman who blames it on his tools. Lionel counters with the fact that it wasn't the bad workman who knocked over the paint tin when he got the lid off. At least he got some of it done, he says, and tells her he will go back and finish it unless "your Mr. Harris..." She tells him to shut up about her Mr. Harris. Judy has to jump in as referee. "What about poor Sandy?" she asks Jean. Jean doesn't know what she means and Judith tells her that Sandy is blaming herself for all that has happened -- and just because she forgot to lock the door she is going to end up costing thousands and thousands of pounds. Sandy walks in just as that is being said and says "no she isn't." 
She says that she is going to move out. Sandy turns and walks out as Lionel tries to tell her there is no need for her to go. In fact, by the time the extension business is over they will probably wind up with two bathrooms each. Sandy stops and says that the plain fact is that if she goes there is no need for an extension anyway. Lionel looks at Jean and says "Happy?" Jean says of course not. Judy starts to leave and Jean asks where she is going. Judy says she is going to consider her options -- with Sandy gone that will just leave her to forget to lock her door. She doesn't think that she can stand the tension so perhaps she'd better think of moving out as well.
Sandy and Alistair are talking in the sitting room. He has just asked her to move in with him. He would like her to think of him as a little haven. She says that that really requires a stretch of the imagination. He insists that he is not kidding. Flats don't grow on trees and he knows it can take time to find the right one. 
He has two bathrooms and, much as he hates to say it, two bedrooms. Sandy moans that she really doesn't want to go anywhere at all. Jean shouts out Judy's name and walks into the sitting room with Lionel. She says that she and Lionel have been talking. "Not rowing?" asks Sandy. Jean assures her that they were only talking. Lionel says that some of us just listened. Judy joins the rest of them and says that if Jean called her downstairs to have another row.... She is interrupted by Jean who doesn't understand all this talk about rowing. She just wants everyone to hear her out. She starts by saying "About this extension..." Some of her listeners moan. She would like them to hear her out and to forget why the need for the extension came about in the first place. 
She asks them it is such a bad idea to add that second bathroom and a conservatory and get themselves a little more space. Lionel tells her he didn't say there was anything wrong with that idea. Alistair raises his hand and asks Jean how you can have a conservatory, which needs a glass roof, and put a bathroom on top of it. Jean thinks about it. The usually sensible Lionel comes up with an idea -- they could put a glass floor on the bathroom. He thinks better of it. Well if not a conservatory, then a pretty sitting room. Lionel points out that they have a sitting room. She asks them to think of how much fun they will have decorating it. The girls look to be excited by the prospect -- Judith wants to use a lot of wood and Sandy would like some trompe l'oeil paintings. Lionel tells Alistair that this is how Robespierre used to enflame the mob. Jean thinks that it doesn't have to be pretty and feminine -- he could have a den. Lionel says he is not a lion, but Alistair informs him "you are to me, Li."
Jean feels it is too early to be specific, but they can all decide together. The phone rings. It is Mr. Harris who is calling with his estimate -- subject to the architect's plans. She asks how much he's talking about in rought figures. Jean's jaw drops. We, of course, only hear her side of the conversation, but that startled look on her face says it all.
She tells him that she will get back to him on that and hangs up. Jean looks at the others and says "We can't afford it." They look disappointed. Lionel thinks they still have a nice house that they all fit in. Judith thinks perhaps they should have Mr. Harris build them a bathroom warning device. At least, Sandy thinks, they will be able to afford that. Alistair tells her to cheer up and says that even if it were affordable they might not have gotten planning permission anyway. Lionel asks if she's even thought of that. She says that of course she had. Then admits that she actually never thought of that. She says it doesn't even matter and starts to walk out but comes back and apologizes to Sandy. She will take the blame because she was such a fool in the first place. Lionel gets up to go after her, but when he sees everyone else start to get up he walks up to them, puts both hands forward fingers spread straight up and asks them to all stop moving about like a herd of wildebeasts -- earlier he told them they all fit in, but they are distinctly overcrowded and he now would like them to stay put.
Lionel and Jean are in the kitchen and Lionel is pouring the wine. Jean asks if he is trying to get her drunk and he tells her he hasn't tried anything like that in a long time. Last time he was trying to ply the woman with Babycham, but she could really knock hers back. He was drinking those light ales and he wound up legless himself. 
He changes the subject by asking her what was all that about her being a fool. He says she may be foolish sometimes, but never a fool. She asks what he would have done had it been her in the bath. He would have said hello and probably would have sat on the edge of the tub and had a chat. What if it would have been years ago, when she was young. Lionel tells her that he'd have torn off all his clothes and jumped in with her. She says that that is what she means. He looks directly at her and says that he never ever considered doing that with Sandy. She knows he didn't. He thinks they need a translator. Jean says no -- it's just her. She supposes she's jealous. Lionel thought they understood one another. Jean tells him she is not jealous of him, she's jealous of Sandy. And of Judy, too, for that matter. Lionel appears to be shocked and says "I shan't say anything, I'll just nod." She continues: they are young and pretty and here as a constant reminder and he's only a man after all. He will not nod at that. 
He agrees, when questioned, that he has noticed them. "There you are," she says after having trapped him. He tells her to chuck them both out because he can't see any other solution. She claims that there really isn't a problem so they don't need a solution. He tells her that there is no way he can honestly say that she is young and pretty, but he thinks she is beautiful. She is startled by that. He repeats himself. She asks if he's had a few of those light ales before they started the conversation. Lionel says that she was beautiful when they met and she always will be. It has nothing to do with a few wrinkles and an extra pound or two. "Or two? He tries to recover. "It's what you are.... it's what you mean." He thinks he is not putting it very well. She reaches out her hand to touch his and assures him that yes, he is putting it very well. The look into one another's eyes and when Lionel suggests that they leave the washing up until later, Jean tells him that she was just going to suggest that. They get up to leave the kitchen when Jean suddenly turns to him and asks "so how often am I foolish?"
It is the next day and Jean is at the charity shop. A customer asks if she can try on some clothing and Jean shows her to the changing room, apologizing that it was being painted and was not quite finished. Lionel walks in the front door, carrying a can of paint and a screwdriver -- ready to complete that job. He looks at Jean and says "Harris." She comes back with "Hardcastle. You've got the right place." She says it is locked because there is someone in the fitting room right then though and he says he had no intention of just barging in. 
"Tell me, Harris," she asks, "how do I look this morning?" He says that she looks very nice. She points out that last night she was beautiful. He assures her that he only does one speech a year and that was it. The lady that was in the changing room walks out and decides against buying anything. She returns the article of clothing to Jean. Lionel heads for the changing room. He pulls back the curtain only to find another woman inside who is standing there in her underwear. She screams. Lionel turns away from her with that same startled look he had after he saw Sandy in the bath. He looks at Jean and says helplessly, "I didn't. I didn't." Jean grins and tells him that she didn't say anything.